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Objecting analysis

LittleBlacknumber1Bubbelehs, have you ever asked yourselves: ‘what kind of object is psychoanalysis?’ Well suffice it to say that psychoanalysis has been and will always be a need-exciting object. It is common cause that what matters is not what a theory offers but what it promises and never delivers. In line with this, I am excited to share with you my latest commercial enterprise. Should you find yourself wandering along Fifth Avenue, New York, you will come across my vanity boutique called ìNarcissistic Suppliesî. Our premises are neatly, but tightly recessed, seductively lit and staffed by an oedipally precocious brat with an overdeveloped chest and narrow, childish hips.

Our store, designed for the aspiring psychoanalyst, already has a small, but deeply disturbed following. Without a doubt, our most discerning customers are the Lacanian analysts who are often on the lookout for the perfect black number—tight, eternal and absolutely opaque. They demand complete silence in the shop and of all our customers know the premium of intense desire. Often, they do not appear themselves but send in an agent who scouts the shop floor while talking into his handcuff. These customers are so rare and unavailable that if you approach them, they seem to move further away. Into a kind of mist, really, I don’t know. Maybe.

The self-psychologists, however, are a real scream. They take ages fingering lingerie and when the assistant flies into a rage they start stuttering and apologising for their empathic failures and run out of the store. We pretend to chase them for a block or two.

The other day a Mr. Fonagy shuffled into the shop knocking over a relational psychoanalyst on his way to the changing room. Looking bewildered, you could see it was his first time. There he was dressed in corduroys and houndstooth jacket, poor old sock. We ducked behind the counter to see what he would do, but he just wondered around aimlessly. Eventually we asked what he was looking for. He insisted that we should be able to mentalise the outfit he was looking for. We thought he looked a bit mental already, but I suppose it takes all kinds. We captured this interaction on the in house CCV and you can catch it on youtube:


Please note, for a limited time only, we are offering all New Therapist subscribers a sample of our new designer fragrance, Whiff. One minute it’s there and the next gone. It is also utterly repulsive. But remember, repulsion is the hidden underside of desire. Repulsion will never let the object go. Never.

Come to our shop. You too can fill your favourite objects with longing and rage.


Svelt Zel


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